• Tosh Patterson

SELF-CARE NO MATTER WHAT

Deep sigh. Are you taking care of you right now?

I led a virtual retreat Monday night and it’s clear everyone is deeply impacted by what’s going on - COVID realities compounded by more Black people murdered, protests, and riots.

Now more than ever during these chaotic, traumatic and uncertain times, we need to be relentless in our self-care and nurturing. It is up to us to maintain our own mental and emotional wellbeing.

Honestly, my emotions have been all over the place with sadness, anger, worry, outrage, grief.

I keep wondering: will any of this result in positive, lasting change?

In 2012, after Trayvon Martin’s murder, I was THE ONLY Black woman on the leadership team at work trying to convey to colleagues my hurt and outrage. My voice fell on deaf ears.

In 2017 I remember watching the murder of Philando Castile. Seeing that felt like a punch in my stomach - I cried *HARD* at work, at my desk. For the rest of the day, I keep my office door closed. Then I took several days off work to rest and rebalance.

Unfortunately, this space, this trauma, this torment has become all too familiar reality to manage especially as a Black person.

What I know for sure is this:

✨It’s okay to cry.

✨It’s okay to close your door at work.

✨It’s okay NOT to turn on your camera for the Zoom meeting.

✨It’s okay to take a mental health day and call off work.

✨It’s okay to honor your feelings no matter how angry, enraged, hopeless, or heartbroken you feel.

✨It’s okay to make yourself and your healing #1.

✨It’s okay to BLOCK/UNFRIEND people.

Just know, if it makes sense to you and feels in alignment with your spirit, proceed without apology or explanation.

-Tosh, xoxo





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